Sex Ed
by Ghostboy814
Summary: What happens when the gang has to take a Sexual Education class? Perverts in training and a topless Tsunade, that's what! Early NaruHina towards the end.
1. We have to take WHAT?

Okay, first Naruto fic, peoples! Yeah, I've used him in a crossover with another show, and made a sequel to the crossover, but this is the first time I'm only using Naruto. I've been trying to pick up bits and pieces of Japanese and titles from other fics, but I'm not perfect so don't get angry if I mess it up! 

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto!

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The setting sun cast long shadows as Team 7 finished training for the day. Naruto and Sakura plopped down on the grass, exhausted, while Sasuke stood over them.

"Don't try and tell us you're not tired, teme," Naruto stated.

"Yeah, pop a squat," Sakura said, and patted the grass next to her.

"**Yeah, sit down right next to me! Or in my lap…whichever you prefer…**" Inner Sakura added.

"Hn."

"Why, you…you probably think you're so much better than us, just because we're tired out from training and you're not! For all we know you're just pretending not to be tired!" Naruto accused as he pointed at Sasuke.

"I don't think I'm better than you, dobe," Sasuke shot back. "I know." Naruto growled and leapt at the raven-haired boy but was stopped by a certain sensei grabbing him by the collar of his jacket and yanking him back.

"That's enough squabbling for one day," Kakashi warned, his nose firmly placed in the latest edition of Icha Icha Paradise, which he'd just bought the other day. "I have an important announcement for the three of you." Naruto's ears immediately perked up.

"Are we going on a dangerous mission, sensei? Are we? C'mon, tell us already!"

"I was just about to if you hadn't interrupted," Kakashi said, annoyed.

"Dobe…" Sasuke muttered.

"I heard that!" Naruto shouted and tried to jump at Sasuke a second time, only to be held back by Kakashi.

"As I was saying," he continued in a loud voice, so as to drown out the knuckle-headed ninja he was holding (not an easy task, by the way), "all of last years' Academy graduates are required to attend a class tomorrow."

"Really? What kind of class?" Sakura asked, intrigued.

"It's something that you'll need for the future, how your bodies are going to begin to change and how this will affect you when you're an adult-"

"Ooh! Are we going to learn an awesome new technique that'll help us pass the chuunin exams next time they're held?" Naruto interrupted. Sakura immediately punched him in the head.

"No," Kakashi answered as Naruto rubbed the rather large lump forming on top of his head. "You'll be attending a Sexual Education class." The three of them sweat-dropped.

"Are you serious, sensei?" Sakura asked incredulously.

"Unfortunately, yes," was the reply. "We've all been instructed to tell our squads that the boys are to meet at Hokage Tower and the girls are to meet at the hot springs at twelve-o'clock sharp tomorrow morning. Other than that, the three of you are dismissed." The three genin shrugged and split up to go to their respective houses.


	2. With the Boys

Naruto yawned, stretched, and blearily opened his eyes. He slowly turned his head and looked at his alarm clock. It read 11:55.

"Holy crap! I'm gonna be late!" He yelled and rushed to change out of his pajamas into his standard dress.

"Good thing I showered last night after training," he said to himself, since he didn't have time do take one during his hasty departure from his apartment. He sprinted to Hokage Tower via Konoha's rooftops, and landed in front of the tower to find all of the other boys crowded around a piece of paper that had been posted on the wall.

"What's the paper say?" He asked Shikamaru, who had just finished reading it and had left the crowd.

"It says to go to room 108. This whole thing is ridiculous; we shouldn't have to waste a perfectly good cloud-watching day learning about women."

"Whatever, as long as they let us eat during the class," Chouji, who had been listening in, added as he opened a bag of potato chips. He, Shikamaru, Naruto, Sasuke, Neji, Lee, Kiba, and Shino all entered the building and headed over to room 108. They entered and sat at desks that were arranged in a semicircle around the blackboard at the front.

"Why do they call it a blackboard if it's green?" Naruto asked, and scratched his head. Nobody answered him. Suddenly, there was a puff of smoke and when it cleared, Jiraya was standing in the center of the semicircle.

"Ero-sennin?" Naruto shouted, and pointed at him. "_you're _teaching this class?"

"Don't call me that!" Jiraya shouted back, then turned to face the rest of the class. "For those of you who don't know me, I am one of the three legendary Sannin, Jiraya!" He struck a heroic pose as an imaginary breeze ruffled his long, white hair. Everyone present sweat-dropped. Jiraya noticed that nobody was buying his act, and immediately dropped the pose. "A-hem. As Naruto pointed out, I will be teaching this class.

"Now, as you all know, you won't be children forever."

"You mean the springtime of youth is only temporary? NOOOO!" Lee shouted as he held his head in his hands. Everyone heard a crash and spun around to face the door, which Gai had just kicked down.

"Not to worry, my adorable student! We will train rigorously so that you can make the most out of your springtime of youth!"

"Arigato, Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-Sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-Sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-Sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-Sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-Sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-Sensei!" They ran towards each other and hugged, and suddenly the background shifted and they were hugging in front of a setting sun on a beach. Naruto looked from them, to Jiraya, back to them, and back to Jiraya again.

"Why don't we have something like that?" he asked.

"Because it's creepy. Watch: Naruto!"

"Ero-Sennin!"

"Naruto!"

"Ero-Sennin!"

"Naruto!"

"Ero-Sennin!"

"Naruto!"

"Ero-Sennin!"

"Naruto!"

"Ero-Sennin!"

"Naruto!"

"Ero-Sennin!" The background shifted, and they were standing on a beach with the setting sun looming in-between them.

"You're right, it is pretty creepy," Naruto acknowledged. The sun fell and crashed below the horizon, and the background shifted back to the classroom. Jiraya booted Gai out of the room and ordered Lee back to his seat.

"Now, to begin the lesson…" Jiraya cracked his knuckles.

He began by lecturing them in the basics-where to find sexy girls and how to woo them. He gave them maps of the Fire Country that marked where each city or town was located, and was ranked based on a scale that Jiraya himself had invented, one that combined the number of girls present and how sexy they are. He then gave each of them an extensive list of pick-up lines, telling them to go through it later and decide for themselves which ones they intended on using most frequently.

After that they got into more advanced stuff. He passed around his telescope and told them some of the adventures he'd had with it. He brought forward a small vial of face-powder and had them all smell it and memorize the odor.

"But sensei," Lee asked, "what do we do once we woo them?" Jiraya shot him a wolfish grin.

"For that, young pupil, I am going to refer you to your textbook. In a flash, he withdrew eight books and held them up. "Out of the goodness of my heart, I will give each of you an autographed copy of my latest book. This one hasn't even hit the shelves yet!" He quickly signed the inside front covers of all eight books and passed them out.

"But sensei," Lee interjected, "we are all too young to be reading such books!"

"Quit being a goody-two-shoes, Fuzzy Eyebrows," Naruto snapped at him, and continued to eye his book hungrily.

"This is probably the first time any of you have ever heard this, but Naruto is right." Everyone in the room gasped. Naruto was _never _right, about _anything_! "Don't worry about the age restriction; I'll vouch for you."

"But if Gai-sensei sees-"

"What Gai doesn't know won't hurt him," Jiraya calmly interrupted. He looked up at the clock and realized that most of the day had already gone. "I want all of you to go home tonight, and read and analyze the first chapter. After that, it's up to you to finish the book at your own rate. Class dismissed." Everyone got up and walked out, chattering excitedly about the class.

"That was awesome!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Hai, I bet I could get any girl I wanted, now that I know some of the stuff Jiraya taught us!" Chouji stated.

"I wouldn't go that far," Kiba warned, eyeing the Akimichi's multiple chins.

"I have to admit, the man does know how to observe," Shikamaru noted. "And he seems to be a skilled strategist." Neji, Sasuke, and Shino remained silent. They all decided to stop for ramen before splitting up and heading home. Afterwards, they bid each other goodnight and headed back to their respective dwellings.


	3. With the Girls

Okay, this chapter might seem a mite perverted and OOC, but I wanted to get some Ino vs. Sakura in there, plus a little Hinata stuff, so I think it was worth it.

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Rather than all approach at once, the girls ended up arriving at the hot springs one by one. They found that an attendant was waiting for them outside the changing rooms of the hot springs. It was her job to inform the incoming genin where to go for their class.

"Tsunade-sama is waiting for you in pool number 3," she would tell each of the kunoichi as they entered.

"Arigato," they would all answer politely. They would enter the tent, undress, and make their way over to the aforementioned hot spring. They would sink in and turn to face Tsunade, plus any of the girls that had gotten there before them. It wasn't long before Sakura, Ino, Tenten, and Hinata had all assembled.

"Konichiwa," the hokage began.

"Konichiwa, Tsunade-sama," they all chorused.

"We decided to have these talks with you because these years are very important to your development. Your bodies are going through a lot of changes and we feel that you should have at least a little bit of knowledge as to what's going on. Now, how many of you have had a 'time of the month' yet?" All four of them raised their hands.

"Good, I don't have to go into that…but do you know how it affects chakra?" They remained silent.

"The way it works is simple-every twenty-eight days, you'll also gain an enormous amount of chakra, but afterwards you'll be weakened. Sort of like…have any of you seen Lee open a chakra gate?" Again, all four of them nodded. Sakura had seen him open five gates at the chuunin exams, and the other three had seen him open at least one during various training sessions afterwards. They all envisioned him opening a gate, receiving a large chakra boost, then being weakened. Then they imagined Lee PMSing, and burst out laughing. Tsunade continued once they died down.

"Okay, so that covers the primary changes…but you'll also go through some other changes in addition to that. For example, you'll start growing _here_," she shook her massive lovely lady lumps and caused a small tidal wave that engulfed all of them. They all gasped for air as they emerged from the hot water, and glared at her. She ignored them and continued.

"Which brings us to why I asked you to meet me here. You, stand up," she said, and pointed at Tenten. The girl nervously stood and Tsunade inspected her.

"Hm…you're going to keep growing for another couple years or so, I would imagine." Ino and Sakura then stood up together and stared each other down.

"I'm bigger!" Sakura asserted.

"Feh, you just wish that so you'd draw people's attention away from your forehead. I'm the more mature one." They began shouting insults at each other and were close to a fistfight.

"Girls, GIRLS!" Tsunade shouted. They both shut up and stared at her, and noticed that a vein above her temple was throbbing. "Both of you sit down. Now." They quickly sat. "You're both equally developed," she said, and then turned to the Hyuuga heiress. "It's your turn."

Hinata blushed slightly; she didn't like showing a whole lot of skin in public, hence the sweatshirt and full-length leggings. And now she was being asked to show, well, _everything_.

"Don't be shy," Tsunade coaxed.

_I need to be brave, like Naruto-kun_, she thought resolutely, and stood up.

"Holy crap, Hinata-chan!"

"Why do you hide a figure like that?"

"Naruto's more of a baka than any of us had ever imagined!"

"No way, if she spiced up her wardrobe a bit he'd be all over her." Hinata turned a dark shade of red and sank down into the hot spring so that just her nose, eyes, and hair were showing. The other girls assumed that it was only out of embarrassment, and naturally none of them noticed the sparkle of hope in her pearl-colored eyes. Tsunade cleared her throat.

"Well, I don't really have anything else to say to you girls, except don't do it until you're married."

"Sasuke-kun's _mine_," Sakura whispered as she glared at Ino.

"You wish, Forehead," Ino shot back.

"Anyway," Tsunade continued over the bickering fangirls, "I guess the four of you are dismissed." They all nodded their heads.

"Arigato, hokaga-sama," they chorused. The four of them stepped out of the hot spring and went into the changing room.

"Seriously, Hinata," Sakura said, "you should come shopping with us. We'll help you pick up something that'll grab Naruto's attention for sure!"

"A-arigato," she replied gratefully. "But, why do you want to help me?"

"Because you deserve to be happy," Sakura replied.

"**Yeah, and also it'll keep the dobe away from me so I can concentrate on my Sasuke-kun!**" Inner Sakura added.

After the four of them had changed, they headed out to buy Hinata something that would attract even someone as knuckleheaded as Naruto. They decided not to vary too much from what Hinata usually wore, and ended up just changing her top to a low-cut, gray T-shirt that clung to her figure and showed just a bit of cleavage.

"B-but…what will my tousan think? He won't let me wear something like this!" Ino shook her head sadly.

"Hinata-chan…you've gotta take some risks if you want to get the guy you want." The Hyuuga still looked skeptical, so she added "listen, if you really don't want him seeing you in it, just wear it underneath the sweatshirt. Then, take off the sweatshirt before going to see Naruto."

"H-hai. Arigato, Ino-chan." The sun was just beginning to set, so they all decided to head home.


	4. Conclusion

The next day, Sakura approached the bridge where Squad 7 usually met and found Sasuke and Naruto already there.

"Kakashi-sensei not here yet?" She asked halfheartedly, already knowing the answer. Naruto and Sasuke both shrugged, and simultaneously whipped out twin copies of an orange book and began reading.

"Hey, what's that?" Sakura asked. She took a closer look at the title and gasped in recognition. "No. Way."

"Way!" Naruto replied exuberantly. "We got these in our class yesterday!"

"**I knew Naruto was a pervert…but Sasuke? Oh well, he's still hot.**" Inner Sakura asserted.

A couple minutes later Kakashi strolled up the bridge, book in hand.

"Sorry, guys," he began in a monotone, "but I got lost on the path of life." When he didn't get a response, he glanced up and immediately noticed the books in Naruto's and Sasuke's hands.

"What the…what are you doing with those?" He demanded.

"We got them in class yesterday," Sasuke replied in a bored voice. "And Jiraya-sensei said that it was okay that we read them even if we were underage." Kakashi shook his head.

"Not that. _That_!" He said, and pointed to the title of the book. "That edition hasn't even hit the shelves yet!" Naruto snickered.

"Yup, we got advanced copies. Autographed, too." Kakashi gaped at him.

"No way." Naruto snickered again as he held up the inner-front cover for him to see. "That's…amazing," Kakashi stated. "Hey, Naruto?"

"Mm?"

"Do you think that you'd be able to, oh, I don't know, lend me a copy for the foreseeable future?" Naruto looked up at him skeptically.

"Nice try, Kakashi-sensei." Kakashi humphed and turned around.

Kakashi made sure that by the end of that day's training session, even Sasuke was panting and gasping for air. The three genin all lay on the grass together and looked up at the sky as they tried to fill their lungs with as much oxygen as humanly possible.

"N-naruto-kun?" came a voice. Naruto lifted his head up and saw Hinata. But upon closer inspection he realized that Hinata had done something to her wardrobe; he wasn't quite sure what she'd done but she looked _hot_! He thought it was the shirt…yeah, that must have been it, because he noticed curves that he'd never seen before on her.

"Hinata-chan…" he breathed. "D-do you want to get some ramen with me this evening?"

"Sure, Naruto-kun, I'd love to!" Hinata squealed, and immediately ran away. As soon as she'd disappeared, Naruto reached into his jacket for a tissue to stem the nosebleed that he knew was coming.

"What was that all about?" Kakashi, who hadn't heard the conversation, asked as he landed next to them.

"Sexual education," Naruto replied, then cracked up.

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I have one question that I've been wondering about, and if you would be so kind as to review and answer me it would be much appreciated: where do people get the idea of Tenten/Neji fluff? From what I've seen, I think she's starting to be attracted to Lee. But then again, I'm only up to episode 150 of the anime so there's probably evidence that I simply haven't gotten up to yet. But if someone could clarify that it would be much appreciated. Thanks! 


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